poe wannabe.

Sunday, October 3, 2010, 10/03/2010 05:06:00 AM

It is raining.

I think i had too much of drinking.

Sometimes i am not sure of what to do, like things with you and me. You tell me.

My head has been a total bitch nowadays, i think too much.

I know where's my mistake and i know how much i blew it at your face but nothing is going to change the fact that we both are torn apart and i hurt you.

Here i am telling this that i am hurt, hurt from hurting you.

I am not asking for sympathy from you, but at least do help me with this.

Help me to walk this little path that i need to sort out, even if you cannot see the same like how you used to, help me out for the very last time.

I need that little 'push' like how you used to give me even when you know i have difficulties from picking up that little broken pieces.

I have mentioned, i will do anything just to make you happy even to the extend of leaving you.

You see, i am not close to being selfish just to gain my happiness. I need you to tell me what to do now, because things has been quite as hell as it can be. Honestly, after such a long period, i am losing my grip every seconds. I do not want to spent another 2- 3 years of living in denial and at the very end of the years to finally let go of things when i finally meet you. I do not want that to happen and even if it is going to cost me losing you, i will. Your happiness means so much to me, it really does. I value our friendship more than the love i have for you, i almost lost you and i do not want to go through it again. I do not mind losing the love i have for you, just for your happiness because i know being with me now, wont bring any happiness in you.

I want to see that eyes, the eyes who used to look at me with full of emotions. I know, i am just a stupid kid who does not knows how to think but that does not mean i do not want you to be happy.

I have done things i should not have done. I do not mind losing you as someone i love very much, but not to the extend of our friendship.

You say it yourself, we were not suppose to be this far but we did.

Your scent brought us closer and it grew inside me, alot.

Nothing will change the fact that it did.

Now tell me baby, what has got into us?

All i need now is for you to help me this bit because i am losing my grip.