poe wannabe.

Thursday, December 4, 2008, 12/04/2008 01:47:00 AM

just as i thought of leading my miserable life with happiness,
there it came up from nowhere.
why the hell couldnt you just come up like earlier than before??
its really a heart breaking when im living life to the fullest,and you popping out from nowhere.

just why??
why??!!
why couldnt you approach to me 3years back just as when i was really into of pursuing this matter?
and now,just as i thought you guys wouldnt come back,you guys did.
im totally at my utmost lost.
i cant help it anymore.
im seriously just as afraid of what its going to be like later on.

my brain is cracking due to this matter.
im not sure.
i dont know.
im lost!

i just feel like jumping off from 2nd storey.
but wait,thats not committing suicide.
thats just and utterly foolish act.
hehs.
i know,i cant help myself of not thinking that.
im scared.
im going insane?(for now)

i dont know.
geees,i dont know whats best for me.
seriously.
im not sure if by pursuing this matter it'll lead to happiness or just a hatred..
but whose going to hate me?
my family members?
my two little brothers?

can i just like be a bangladash or something until everything is settle?
imjust as weak as it is.
serious shit.

what i need now,
a person with non-nonsencical mouth,
a person who can feel what im going through,
a person who can give me both side of points,
a person to cry with?(coz,i feel like crying now)
a person to hug me?

yes,i know.
im....
oh whatever.
imjust having a really bad time.
seriously.
i aint joking.

i need my lembab.
dah lah!!
i dont know.
whatever isit.
imma just shut my brain and just smile.
right kak nurul?=)

whatevr happens,happens.
hope bad things dont.....