❧ DinieJamz (more...)

Thursday, April 17, 2008, 4/17/2008 11:36:00 PM

im feelin extremely down now!!i dont know who to turn to..i dont know who should i talk to.

i got my friends who'll be there for me when i need them most.but its not them that i need right nw!its U that i need now!and badly!!

when i woke up this evening,my lil bro told me that i didnt get into the course.i didnt pay much attention as i thought he was just being himself by being annoying.suddenly,my mom called me out to the livin room.and she said. "adek,adek tk dapat itu course tau!"(dinie,you didnt get into that course!)the moment i heard that,my heart sank!!i played cool,as i didnt want my mom to get worried.i didnt how on earth i didnt get into that course.i applied as a full time retail student in ite clementi,i got it..but was rejected by hundreds of candidates when i went to the interview.everything went smoothly,but i guess my appearence really disgusted them,my hair was dyed,and i didnt even bother to take out my tongue stud.

so i didnt give up,i applied as a traineeship as a retail student again.and i have to go for my second interview at POPULAR headquater.everything went smoothly,gave them the best answer as what they want in a retailer.they were amazed by my answers,my keen into learnin retail and my personality.and again,i was rejected.damn!POPLULAR IS BEING SUCH A RACIST!!!KAKAK KAU PEH LAKI!!i mean the one who got was all chinese.even the headquater was ful of chinese staffs!(look around popular bookstore,have you ever seen a malay or let alone an indian working in there??!!most or shall i say all is CHINESE!!)

and again,that didnt stop me from giving up at all.i appealed as a student in ite ang mo kio.

i took the course DMD DIGITAL AUDIO PRODUCTION i guess.and guess what,i didnt get into that course!!its either the course is full or i dont know.the requirements fer that course was to PASS N level!!!i did pass my n level!!and my results was way better for that course!!!

and that didnt stop me from giving up!i appealed again in ite bishan as a retail student!

and i just found out today(17042008) i didnt get into that course at all!!!damn!!

i dont know why i didnt get into the course,ihv been trying hard to fight and not giving up at all.

i assume luck wasnt with me at all.i feel like crying now,boohoo to me for being such a crybaby!!

but,how long can i stand this of bein rejected always.be it in terms of education or love,

ihv been rejected!!damn!!

i need you,i need u now..BADLY!!i cant take it anymore..i need you to be beside me now..huggin me,consoling me,comfortin me evrything..but,where are you,when i need you the most??!!i feel like msging u,but im fucking sure,it'll be a disturbance to you,and you will never reply..but,ill try to msg u after im done with bloggin....ILL JUST TRY...

a supervisor once said