poe wannabe.

Thursday, July 31, 2008, 7/31/2008 05:36:00 AM

its 5.36am,and i have yet to sleep.
baby is sound asleep right now.
baby will be taking baby's DnT paper later on.
hopefully baby can do it.

talked with someone on the phone,it was so unexpected of my mom to ask the someone to call her hp.wthhh mom!!
it was freaking shocking for me and the someone.
haha.

so,we talked on the phone,laughed,talked about the past relationships that we both had,and the failures that we both had,and the most interesting part was to actually finding out from our inner self what actually we have learnt from those failures.

do we ever let history repeat itself or we learnt from there and and make a better move from there.things happened as what we expected them to be.and things happens for a reason,and i totally agree with the someone.if things didnt happened tha way it was in the past i dont think i would actually overcome any obstacles in my life.

the conversation ended at 4plus in the morning.
went online,and as usual riyan gave me a unexpected message in msn.

« ®ï¥Äñ }{aƒƒÿs » ··· I love me eve sent 7/31/2008 3:26 AM:
dude, lay of teh cigarettes, ur lips are getting to black, aint that sexy anymore...

and to riyan:

i totally miss talking to you on the phone,and its been ages we meet up and talked on the phone.i know it always freaks you out to hear from me that,

i cant recalled alot of stuffs and you cant.okay,maybe 10%.

so yeah,i will try my very best to reduce on my smoking habits,and i will try my very best.
and please have faith in me aites.and yeah one more thing mr egoistic,your're at a losing stake with me.hahahhaha.

talked on the phone with riyan on the phone,

and somehow,i find the conversation was funny and i could feel like there's a gap in between in our friendship.and i really hate to say that.

and to add on to my so called misery,i cant meet baby really soon,and i mean really soon.

gees,might be meeting baby on saturday or next tuesday.
and im missing my baby badly!!

wanted to call baby,but mommy's was using the phone,hate ot when she lied to me saying that she was going to use the phone for a while,but instead she took more than an hour!!

its going to 6am soon any minutes from now.haha.
and will be going to bed soon right after im done with my smoke break.
hahaha.

*baaaabbbbbyyyy....*

Wednesday, July 30, 2008, 7/30/2008 12:24:00 AM

did nothing much today.
woke up in the afternoon.
and met someone.
went out and chilled at lower seletar reservoir.

talked,laughed,joked.
and took alot of pictures.
so yeah that's all.
and i feel pretty bored right now.
im broke,(waiting for my pay),friends are not online,someone is off tto bed.
geeeesss...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 7/29/2008 01:18:00 AM

there's too many things to say/blog,and i dont even have a clue of where to start.

blame me for not been updating this blog.

been totally busy and too lazy to just do a simple update.

first thing first,

just a wonderful news!!

ihv resigned from ESPRIT!!

can you believe it??

haha,me either.

last day in BJ8 ESPRIT(28/7/08)

remember my previous post,where i said that i need to stop gulping all the plerplexities at the moment.?

yeah i did.and so i quitted my job.

well life's been really hectic for me.

trust me,way hectic.

and pardon me if im whining.

and in fact,i dont think im whining.

i just dont want to keep on forcing myself and to be pretending that nothing happens when it is.

this is really the point where it kept me pondering real hard.

"i need to please people,and who's the hell that is going to please me?"

i dont think people has been apprieciating what i have done to them.

okay,i dont need them to repay me or whatsoever.

bt its just that somehow i feel tt these people are not.

maybe,or maybe my instinct is wrong.

i dont know.

friday was just totally mundane at work,but thanks to dearest hunn ryna who stopped by my shop before heading back home.thanks ryna!!

saturday was a total blast!!

had my 1st SATURDAY OFF!!

and i was like freaking estatic!!

i mean,i dont really get to enjoy saturday/weekends like some of them.

i had to work,and if happens i ahd to work on saturday and most of my beloved cliques/lovelies ay esplanade,i would be going there to jsut chill and meet them and heading back home before the last train.

and as always,my sundays was forever FULL SHIFT!!

gess,had to wake freaking early for work.

so yeah,went to "da' hip rock affair"it was freaking fun!!

the rappers,dancers,the rockers!!

woohooo~~~!!!

had fun the whole time,and get to meet our dearst kak z and FIS CREW!!

love them!!

when it ended,chilled with bee,anna,kak z,aween,hetty,mickey,and nanep(s.f.b)

it was freaking fun!!

nanep was being such a clown all the time!!

and mickey cant stop pulling my jeans off!!

hahah.

and here's a picture of beeeeaaaaauuuttiiiifffuuulll sis nurul with UGLY me.

and on sunday met kak nana,wan and their children at BJ8.

its been ages i met them!!

miss them to the core!!

and took some pictures,but only uploaded one as im lazy!!

*winks*

and yeah,my brain cells are dying,and i cants eem to think of what to say/type.

and yeah,something happens at work when i was on the way to the toilet/smoke break.

p.s:your smile makes me melt.

and when you talk to me,it makes me go awww~~~~....

*errrmm....*

Monday, July 14, 2008, 7/14/2008 02:18:00 AM

i thought of going on hiatus.
but on a second thought,i wont.

okay,to be honest im just not in the mood nowdays.
life's been pretty hectic.
and way hectic here and there.
get what i mean?

i get agitated easily,
i can suddenly miss someone to the core and next,FUCK YOU for all i care.!!
i dont know what's happening to me.
i guess im having too much pressure.
its not that i cant take it,maybe this is just the point where,
it just says i need to stop gulping with all the plerplexities at the moment.

at times,life's been too wonderful for us that sometimes we tend to overlook the right path.

have you guys felt that each of the human beings in life aare gullible and naive at times?
and now,suddenly it kept me pondering.

i ponder myself what it's like when you have found your soulmate.

there's this saying goes,
"kalau dah ade jodoh,tk akan ke mane."(if its meant to be,it wont go anywhere)

what's the meaning that lies beneath this sentence.
i dont see it is wrong.

but given out a scenario,

i dont think it is right.

after this two party had a breakup,
they didnt contact with one another.
the amour for wach other were still going on strong,
bt none make an effort to contact much or less communicate.

and does this means if its meant to be,it wont go away??

what im trying to preach here is that.
two parties wont be together back as one,if one didnt make an effort to pursue the amour that they had.

to be honest,im feeling pretty dumb writing this.
bt neverthless,correct me if im wrong.

i miss alot of my confidants.

one of them,fizzy.i just miss fizzy to the core.nothing can reveal what it's like to have a friend like him.he'll be there for you.and i'll be there for him too.but,the liaisons between us is getting lesser each day.each of us seems to be occupied with our life.and there's hardly time for us to meet up,chill,and just talk about life,and philosphy.it really amazed me how contradicting he can be.

fizzy,where's the old fizzy that i first get to know?i miss the old you.haha.

so yeah,apart from fizzy, i miss my sec school life,sec school mates,and teachers.
well,thanks to these teachers,MR RAZIF,MDM SUE,MR CHEE.

these are the teacher's that never seems to give up on me and the others and had always believe in me and the others.only now,i realised how much you guys cared for us.

you guys have really taught some of the idiots(including myself) in alots of ways.

and boohooo~~ to me for being such pussy!!wakakakaka
as if im in grammy awards.
well,im sure MDM SUE is going to kill me when she saw the type of english that we're using now.
and there she goes "english is the..........bla bla bla" you wont wanna know that.

okay,its 3plus in the morning,and i have yet to sleep.
its been along day from work.
and im terribly exhausted.

but on the brigther side,
there's going to be a dance practice in the afternoon!!
good!!im going to lost 25907444352823931187399362 kg.

and i miss small.

wakakakakkaka.

okay,i miss someone extremely.been wanting to meet up,but couldnt as each of us

seems busy with our own life.

but,hopefully we'll meet up soon,and we'll do the things that you plan.

*madly insomnia*

Wednesday, July 9, 2008, 7/09/2008 12:32:00 AM

well,things happened alot for the past two days.

was about to have my lunch on monday,when i saw a miss csall on my handphone.

it was my home.called home and get to know that my granfather justpassed away.

well,he's not literally my grandfather,but my step grandfather.

but anyways,felt really shocked and pretty sad.

so went off from work at 2 after lunch,and took an unpaid leave for the next day itself.

went back home and changed and went to my dad's house as everything is done there.

the body arrived at4plus in the afternoon.

everyone was not really in a good state especially the grandchildrens,childrens,and the family.

so sat one corner and had a talk with my aunty when suddenly i heard

"ABG DINIE!!",and when i turned,i saw my cute little niece shouting for my name.

she really miss me alot.hugged me,and satwith me.and she kept on saying "abg dinie hair..."

,"abg dinie hair.."i guess she realised that i coloured myhair.

then i followedmy cuzzins back to their house to take a shower as it was freaking humid.

below are some pictures that i took while waiting for them.and some pictures that i took of my uncles,and aunties while some prayers are done inside my dad's house.

so the next day,had to wake up freaking early as they had to cleanse the body and had to bury the body at ????.

so woke up at 5.30am.

was rushing and everything when i had to go out lateas no one to take the food that my mom cooked for the kenduri tahlil.

once everything is done,took a cab again and went to my dad's house.
and upon reaching there,

everyone especially my family members were waiting for me and my lil bro as each of the family members were givin a last farewell kiss to mygrandfather,and i was freaking lucky to arrive there on time tho' it was late.

gave a last kiss to my grandad.

prayed for the deacease and stuffs.

and went to the cemetry afterwards.

to grandfather: may your soul rest in peace and may you leave this world with a peace of mind.

and do always know that each of every oof your family members loves you.and hopefully ALAH S.W.T forgive every single sins that you have done.and here's a khusus of al-fatihah for my late grandfather,RAHMAT BIN HAJI ABU HASSAN.

al fatihah..

AMIN.

and to that you know who:

dont ever think that no one cares for you.i care for you,even as a new friend i care for you.dont keep on blaming yourself.i know its hard.but dont hate yourself!

i dont know why.but as a new friend of mine,you seem to cheer me up in any ways.duh~~

wakakakaka.and i know that you dun like to share your problems to anyone.

bt like ihv said before.dydy is always here.=)

*rest in peace*

Sunday, July 6, 2008, 7/06/2008 04:01:00 PM

woohhooo!!yesterday was such a blast i tell u!!

went to NDP PREVIEW '08 with bee,anna and hetty!

it was freaking humid when we 1st arrived.

everyone was fanning themself away,

and some were using umbrellas as a shield.

got the tickets from kak z!

thanks kak!!

so when it was over,went to marina square,

and chilled while waiting for kak z,v,hasween.

and they weere freakinbg late.

wakakakakka.

so went to macdonald,

bought for them some foods,

as what bee told me they will be freaking famished!!

especially our dearest kak z!!

hehehehehe.

became camwhores,

and i only uploaded some,im too lazy to upload the rest.

dearest kak z!!

got back home,and chilled for a while.

so,went to jb with my new friend,kecik.

bee,kak zeella was really paranoid!!

they kept giving me wild imagination!!

and it kinda freaks me out.

anywoos,thanks for the concern u guys!!

kecik fetched me at khatib mrt at 2am.

and we speed to jb.it was freaking jam lah i tell u.!!

bt not that worst.he kept calling me dol!!

isshh!!

bought ciggies,went to the petrol station.

and then we are off to singapore back.

went to have breakfastat macdonlad near chong pangs as kecik kept on saying he's hungry.

and after breakfast,chilled,and he sent me back home.

p.s:the smells still lingers on my head.

*facsinating duh*

Saturday, July 5, 2008, 7/05/2008 01:32:00 AM

sorry,i was on hiatus.
been really busy with life.

last monday,30th June 2008,was the last operation day fer
EDC ESPRIT @ HEEREN!
i was happy in a way,but really sad as now,im parted with the heeren team.
i miss them alot especially fizah!!
despite the fueds thatwe had,the bond and the teamwork was superb!!
i'll really cherish the days i have in EDC ESPRIT @ HEEREN.