( The best thing about me is you. ) DYDY, Fluent in bullshit. Outdoor enthuasist. ninie_14@msn.com(blogger) 140891180481 ( Don't waste your time here, move along. )

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okay wattsup people!!


currently listening "i do" by westlife.


my neck is really stiff!
serious shit!
its giving me pain!!and i hate it!
plus im working later.
hopefully its gonna be okay by then.

gosh,seriously i hate this feeling.
its a feeling that no one ever likes it,
except for the fact that when you need a time alone or peace.
feeling lonely,not having someone special to be next with you telling that everything is alright,.
i just miss it.


on the brighter side,
i ate alot!!
gerek kaper???
serious!
i ate alot.
i ate rice 2 times in the afternoon,and in the night mee goreng,and ihv just finished eating rice again!! oh my god!!
im going to be fat soon!!
it seems that im on a depression mode or maybe im just too bored that i eat alot!!
i dont know!!

and in a few hours time.
R.D is flying off to delhi,india.
he's going to be away for a very long time indeed.
and im gonna miss him alots!!

happy flying R.D!!

anywoossss..

fhunkie stylerz and freakzy nutz got into the finals!!
wooohooo!!!
yeah!!
im soo happy for them!
im gonna support them for sure.
but it all depends if i have gotten my pay.
so adam and jon and the rest who wants me to support you guys,just pray hard that im getting my pay before the finals.
wakakakkakaka..
and i'll be a crazy bitch as always!!
wakakkakakakaka.

im still having a crush on you..

and i know that is so wrong of me to do so..
bt whatever it is.
..................

i wont say it.

and fadh birthday is coming soon!!
wakakakkakaakka



im totally sorry for not updating this precious blog of mine.
wakakakkakakaa.


monday

it was just an ordinary day,except for the fact that i met abg issac!!
wooohohooo!!its been since i met abg!!and didnt really talked alot as i was working,i skived abit.
wakakakakaka.

----------------------------
tuesday

i totally woke up late!
and i was late for work for 2 minutes!!
can you imagine that??
2 minutes?!!
okay,im exaggerating.
to tell the truth i actually didnt mind being late for 2minutes!
wakakakakakkaka.

---------------------------

wednesday

woke up super duper late!!
i woke up at 6plus in the afternoon!
all thanks to the late sleeping.
hehs.
and the best part today was that i had DANCE PRACTISE!!
PPL I HAD A DANCE PRACTISE!!
it was a last minute thingy.
there were only 3 of us.
me,liyana and bee!


its been since ihv been dancing!!
and i feel like a retarded robot trying to dance!!
gerek kaper??!!!

bt yeah,it was totally fun,tho' it only lasted for 2hours.
totally enjoyed myself!!
im too tired to blog now,maybe i'll blog when im not too tired!!

so yeah.keep on plucking ur mama's pubic hair!!






my off days,
its suppose to be fun,but,the whole day was mundane.
serious shit!

and tomorrow,im working full shift!
oh god.seriously i totally hate working as a full timers,
but what any other options i can choose.
part time?
nah,that will be so unsufficient for me.

as much as i hate to say this again,
i miss that someone.
i tried umpteen of times avoiding this weird feeling of mine.
bt i couldnt.
i tried my best.
maybe i didnt tried the best i can.
idk.

how i wish i could have all the answers that is happening in my life.
bt some things are better not to be answered.

yesterday,
slept around 5plus in the morning.
had to company one of my friend.

my hair is in a mess right now.
if u were to take a look at my hair,
im sure you will just scream!!
serious shit!
i totally hate my hair for now.
him totally broke right now,i have to wait for my pay.
and when's my pay?
like in a zillion years time?
wakakkakaka.
okay people.

i so need your help!!
please tell me which salon should i have my haircut.
i mean,a good salon but not that expensive.
thought of going to tony and guy salon,its been forever i went there.
but,on a second thought,maybe no.
because its too expensive!!

recommendations anyone??!!


qoute for the day.
i doubt so.
whats your take on that?

and exerscise your right to FREE SPEECH!!

i guess im hitting the sacks early today.




hollaasss...









im fucking happy today you know why?


saturday and sunday its my off day!!

its my first weekend off!!!


yahoooooooo!!!








wakakakakakakka.

its only a off days and im making it sound as if i won MR UNIVERSE 2008!!


wakakakakkaakkaa.







yesterday,




while i was having my break,
riyan messaged me asking me what time im off from work.
so yeah,called him and stuffs.
and we met at 8pm after ihv just finished my work.




walked to scape park,
and sat around there.
we chilled,talked,joke aoround and became camwhores with riyan's new camera.
and what was the camera name again riyan??
motherfucker??wakakakkakakaka









so its was around 9 plus or 10 plus we decided to head back home.
so yeah,had abit of fun yesterday being camwhores.
wakakkakakakaka









so today,
woke up pretty late,
and i mean really2 late.
if i didnt realised that there were messages in my handphonem
i dont think i would wake up.









so met my pretty cuzzie bee,









met her at khatib around 6plus,


headed to macdonalds,


and practically we just talk about dance!!


yeah!!dance..





soon,after it was night and it was time for us to go home..


wakakakakkaa.











chatted with her in msn..


asked her to sent me the pictures that we took.


and she didnt want to as her face look like a constipated bitch!!


wakakakkaka


and in the end,she did gave me..


how "sour" can she be??!!


wakakakakakkaka

*distorted biaaccctch*

heeeyyyaaaa...


i just miss that someone to the core.
yeah,boohoo to me for typing this.
but,its just a feeling that i can resist from avoiding it.
i know ihv been hurt by that someone not once.
i know.bt,..........


a friend once said,

"when romeo said "i love u" to juliet,
it wasnt love,it was lust instead.

lust,love!!
its a total two different stories behind it.
okay i wont eloborate more,as no one will have the real definition behind it.
not evena 80 years old philosopher has the actual answer.

anywoooossss.

please,
please,
please,

vote for this two crews.

FHUNKIE STYLERZ !!!!!


AND


FREAKZY NUTZ!!!

below is the link!!

http://www.neartsfest.com.sg/heartlandmusical_voting2.htm

thanks people!!





guess what,ihv just got an offer.
okay,not literally offer.
bt yeah,they were shortage of crews.
and yeah,one of them approached me.


hmm,its really diffcult for me to make a decision as im pretty tight with my work right now.
for godness sake,its not part time.
its FULL TIME PEOPLE!!!




i got at least 2 weeks to think everything and to sort things out.
but yeah, im too happy!!
bt yeah,work is like pulling me down now and plus my dancing is getting rusty now.



anywaeeeessss,had a conference chat with


adam(freakzy nutz) and my idiotic cuzzie,bee(dylimarcell)


so yeah,it was really fun..
serious shit,and it really made me and bee go gagagagagaga..
when adam want to dance with us.
as in not as in practicing with us only,
bt to perform with us!!








Like a splinter in the head
Like a bright light in the eye
I lay down on my bed
Thinking I would die

The world just swirls in circles
Nothing is clear to me
But what I see is little
What I feel is agony

Distorted my senses
I doubt reality
High are my defenses
Have I passed fatality?

So I thread the tracks back that others take
Follow what the others say
Never doubting if this life is fake
In my hope to find the way

We live a life of kaleidoscope
Images from a thousand reflections
But once we see a ray of hope
We realise the one and sole direction

I dare not say I know the way
But I've trust this path is safe
Companions be strong and never sway
The future's bright, just have faith

i love the above.
dont you??

-------------------------------------------------------------

it really "amazed" you,when someone you whom you really trust,
and the both of you would confide each other when things goes wrong in your life.
and when that someone just totally betrayed you for its own desire.
i mean,come on,yes you totally help me alot.
and i really apprieciate it alot.

but im too speechless.
you did all this just to sastify your own desire.

humans,they will do anything,even by all means to hurt their love ones,
so as to satisfy or to get their own desires.
and it really shows alot your so called gratitude.
hehs.
but.im not perfect either.

i sound so dumb,
i just feel like taking a shotgun and shoot my ass.
bt yeah, i made my point.

be one my haters if you want to.
i entertain haters.
i adore haters.
you haters rock my socks!
trust me.

ok wait,
who is my haters anyways??
errmm..
wakakakakaka.
im am so stupid!
pardon me people!








i lead my life with no intention of destroying it nor amending it.


its somehow when you're scribbling on a piece of paper with no intention of what to do next.
life hasnt been fair to everyone.nothing in this world is fair.
its the way how you live your life.

im not nice.
i waas never nice in the first place.
im bad.
im always bad.
i have never ever think that im nice.

i dont see why some sees that im nice?
am i nice?
i dont know..
maybe i am,maybe im not.


i love the life that im having right now,eventho' it really sucks alot,and i mean way alot.
i learnt alot from going through the experience that i'hv faced.when every obstacles in life keeps on coming to you,and pulling you down in any ways.you just feel like giving up,but somehow there's a strength that came out and to pulling you together.


in terms of my love life,

i dont know what else to say.
yes im proud to say that ihv been in true loves before.
its really amazing that you actually know that you're falling in love when you have no intention of doing so.but,love wasnt with my side always.
i had love yes,i treasure every single bits of it.


and i got dumped always!!
hw great can that be??!!
okay,not literally got dumped,bt yeah it was always them who will be the one who initiates the breakup.

a friend once said,

“It’s so much easier to be the one who dump, rather than the one who got dumped”

but it was more to the matter of heart,i reckon.




recently,
a friend got me thinking,



due to some things that happened recently,

i fought hard,
fought the best that i can.
with no intention of giving up.
but the further i fight,so is the love towards me.

i dont know if i make any sense.
but i have made my point.

this time round,i wont fight anymore for my love.
im just too scared of losing it.

i'll just let nature takes it course.
its too fragile when matter of hearts is concern.

but whatever it is,i'll just wait and to let somone say
"i like you."
"im starting to fall in love with you."
what the hell am i thinking??
wakakakakakka


but whatever it is,
i love revenge.
but i have never believe revenge in love.
i would simply close one eyes when love is concern.

"I shan’t hurts others

but I get hurt by others"

it takes a minute to like someone,
and hour to love someone,
but a lifetime to forget someone.

p.s: riyan,you'll never get to sleep with me like yesterday ever aagain.
no more cuddling.no more sleeping together.
wakkakaakakkaaka




i just wish that the day wouldnt end just like that and i would just.....

okay,here's what i did today.

woke up at 2.30pm and then had to prepare lunch for my siblings and then yeah,chat!!
wakakakakaka

soo met fadh and ma cuzzie at khatib mrt.
darn it!
it was fucking humid laaa..
with fadh around he was like "i wanna go to an air_conditioner place."..
so yeah,drag our ass to macdonalds.and we practically
talk,talk,talk.

so yeah,it was superb fun lah,with fadh around.
u know that guy can be super crazy,but he wasnt crazy lah today.
bt yeah.it was fun.

it was reaching the climax,when fadh said
"sorry,gotta go!"
damn.bt yeah,totally understand lah.

oh gosh,why there is lah here...lah there...
in my sentences??

okay,suddenly i had this feeling.it came out from nowhere.
the feelings were unexpected.
i didnt expect to have this feelings.

it was like more to a more than a friend,or liked or crush or seriously i dont know!!
i cant explain this feeling of mine.
bt what i know,this feelings is
IRRESISTABLE!!!!!
serious shit!!

im not that attracted to the person lips or whatsoever.
maybe the way the person acts,the way the person talk and everything.
or maybe even the attitude..

shit!i totally hate this feeling,but i love it.
im just to scared to let the person know that im having a crush on the person.
i dont know why.
maybe im juat to scared of what's the reaction of the person when the person found out that i have a crush on the person.or maybe scared of rejection,or even maybe im scared to lose the person as a friend.

you see,you will never know whats the outcome gonna be like when someone found out that you're having a crush on the person.
its either gonna be okay or u might just lose the friendship or whatever you call it that you're having now.

but,the person actually found out.maybe?
i dont know.
but what i know is the person is not dumb!
and there's a possibility of 80% that the person knows that im having a crush on the person.

gerek kaper?!

well,70% of me says to just tell the person,another 30% says not to,and its been traumatized or "buddy" about the hurt that i had gone through.

i know,i should just take the risk and to tell the person,if its not okay,then why bother.
well.that is so me.but seriously i dont know why i cant even bring myself to take the risk!!
and that is so not me!!

bt nevermind.i'll just not take the risk and kept it as a secret like i planned to do so.


and if the person happens to read this,
so well yeah!

I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!!!!
sorry...



too much of lubricant makes your dick darken!!
wakakakakakakak






boooo!!!


i feel so fresh!!super duper fresh!!
am done with bathing,and now blogging.


bt,im totally exhausted.totally.

today i had to be attached to frasier centerpoint mall.
damn.totally hate the idea.
i just felt like not going to work as i was like totally alone.

gosh,i was scared yesterday.im too scared that i would cock up.
of course i would be scared.blame it all to allan!
allan and his big mouth said to the managers in centrepoiint that i was aggresive!!
damn!!and i was like what am i aggresive!!
im not!1
and he said yes u are!aggresive in sales!!
allan was ought to sabotage me!!
darn it!

oh dydy,stop whining for godness sake!!
i just felt like i was a bangladash dude coming to work.
damn,hate that feelings.
and the staffs there are fun and friendly.
so yeah,that wont really bother me that much.
so yeah most of them spoke in chinese as most of the staffs were chinese.
so yeah,as if i dont undestand chinese!!
what the heck!!

im not too sure how long i cant stand this job.
i mean,the jobscope is super duper interesting and fun!!
its RETAIL PEOPLE!!
RETAIL!!
ihv been wanting to work and study in retail!!


and at last,i got it!
thanks to the name of allah!
hey tho' still doing aloot i mean, alloooooottt of SINS now!
i still remember that guy aites.

so yeah yesterday was totally emotional for me.
serious..i dont know what came over me,but yeah.
i was totally emotional FREAK!
gawd!i miss ma old peers,i totally love ma mom!

im totally shagged to write anything now.
i'll just update when i have the mood aites.



till then,
bila2 hidup mati melayu!!





a new day,a new life,with alot of dumbness in it.


okay,that was just a another lame and dumb thing to do..
well,if it will only shut your dog's dick down the throat,i'll say dumb things..
okay,im just blabbering things just like fadh and riyan is.

i really need a bitch-slapping now!!
serious!!

today wasnt as mundane as i thought it would.
met kak nana at khatib mrt,then went to our normal kopitiam and bought some drinks and chat.
chat alot of stuffs so yeah.guess whom did i saw?your bestfriend mom's pussy!!!wakakakakakka
lame,i know.
but,i jjust cant help it.

okay its like been a month or 2 ever since i heard from that someone.
well,okay..yes i miss that someone.but i guess my love for that person just faded away.
i know im just like an asshole who dont keep up to his words.
but you wont know what im going thru,the hurt,pain, everything.

i just forced myself not to love that someone anymore,and to loathe that someone instead.
its not easy as what some of you think.
reminiscing then good and hurtful memories.tho' it was not long,that someone made me felt i belong...yeah,like whatever!!

okay,you know,i dont pretty care!!what i know,that someone is just another loser that i bumped into.i should have just kill you when i have the chance.

so whimsical of that someone to block or delete me from msn.
oh like i care?get it?i dont care at all!!
do what you wanna do by all means!
just get this straight!
you have just mess with the wrong person u bitch!!

you will pay what you have done to me and to my friends!
someday,somehow,somewhere you'll get your retribution back!
and i bet,the pain will be more than what im facing now!!

oh sit,why the hell am i wasting my time writing about that someone?
nevermind.its alot better to write bout my dad's poo..wakakakkakaa

okay,so yeah someone just said i got cubbier!!
like omg!!are you serious?
can anyone tell me if its true!??

so yeah,now im chatting with izzati in msn.gosh that girl can be really muddle head..wakakakakaka.

okay,gotta go now as i need to chop someone's dick as im too dumb nowdays..
gosh,seriously,i love the job that im working now,but im not in love with the working w\hours.

till then,
keep on plucking your mama's pubic hair!!!





ari gato!!!!


woohoo..today its my off day,plus tues is my off day too..
im fcuking estatic right now.
if only there's a shotgun right now,i will just shot my dick off..wakakakkakaka.

ok,i just feel dumb nowdays.my vocabs is getting worsen everyday and my english is just like those typical apek and nyonya at those kopitiam.

my all time favourite sentence that i wont forget!!

"so,you taking??"

damn?what language was i using?what on earth was i thinking?
after i just said that,i just feel like i was speaking in cantonese,or hindi,or maybe punjabi.
im like an alien whom had just landed from planet

"PPL WHO DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SPEAK IN STANDARD ENGLISH!!"

damn!ihv just embarassed myself to a caucasian customer.
i feel like punching the woman's boobs after i had said it!
im the most idiotic,stupidest,dumbest,blur gong-gong-est guy in the whole wide toilet!
and not to forget,the cutest!!ehehehehhehehe.
yeah,i know im self proclaiming.like whatever.i know im cuter than your dog's pussy!wakakakakka.


dear god,
please help me!!im getting dumb every single day.and i dont even know why on earth im typing this!wakakakakakka!

see?its just another dumb thing!gerek kaper?
can like someone just slap me real tight at the face with their boobs or dicks please?
anyone?wakakakakakaka.

okay,here's what happened today(monday)..

woke up at nearly 4pm.wahh,i just love my off days.
chat in msn,blog-hopping,friendster,kept on smoking,wnt to grandparent's crib and doing all the dumb stuffs.

so yeah,chatted with fadh in msn and then called him uo at around 6plus as he was going out to study.so yeah talked to him,and get to know alot,i mean alooootttt of stuffs!!
wow!!i just like fadh!fadh,dont worry that arse will get his retribution back.

and i thank god for letting me to meet my new awesome friends like

fadh,riyan,delya,adam,fadlie,syahmi,haja and alot more i guess.wakakakakka.

serious shit!u guys are great!ALL MY FRIENDS RAWKS MY BOXERS TO THE CORE!!
wahhh,i feel like im in OSCAR OR GRAMMY AWARD!!

my body is aching,and my spine is giving me the same old problem.
i need a massage badly,i wanna go to the massue,bt im broke now!
can anyone be my massue(spell check),serious,i really need one message noe,and badly!!

and i need to have sex,and i need a sex partner!!
anyone who wants to be my sex partner?
anyone?wakakakakakakaka,im just kidding aites!

so people,i'll blog again soon aites..
gotta go now..
so long asswipers!




hey beeaauuttiiffooooll people!!





HAPPY BELATED OR WATEVER U CALL IT!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOM!!!








here i am blogging with some unfinished desire..


the past three days has been mainly working,working,working!!!




friday,


i saw some of the chinese girls from my badge in my previous school!!


i was serving some of the customer when my eyes got the attention the opp of me.
it was them smiling like an idiot and waving at me as if i was in a kindergarden school.!!


like mommy waving at their kids??


damn!i guess they have been sitting there for quite sometime.and they went off right after i waved and smiled at them back!!wakkakakakaka.



allan,my attachment supervisor was like damn irritating,funny and too gerek!
he's a nice person!serious shit,having with him working,it wont be really bored.
and im too happy as a new staff i managed to sell alots of merchandies and my sales only were nearly @2000!!damn,am i good or what?



saturday,


had to work full shift again!!and there were like new stocks coming in!!fuck!of all days.saturday must be the day they sent over the stocks!!hello?we are trying to bring up our sales here!not checking and to be arranging new stocks!!stupid babarian!!


so yeah,my sales were not good as yesterday,it was like around $1300++..pathetic!!

on the way back,met amin and kian wee.wow!totally miss them alot.its been since i met them!we were catching up and did some plain stuffs!



sunday,


had to work FULL SHIFT again!!gerek kaper??!!





okay,today was totally madness for me.there was like a girl working opp of my store.and ihv been like checking out on her for quite sometimes.and i was doing my work when i noticed that the girl was talking to her friend.i kept on looking at her,and i know she must have realised it!!anf she was like talking to her friend about me!!can u just believe it??damn!!


there this one point when we weere having our momentum.the eye contact were just soo bloody perfect!!she smiled at me!!and all i did was to stare at her and look away!!


what the hell am i thinking??!!


okay,that part above were just totally lies!!serious shit!!i was just typing it for fun,i couldnt recalled back what or whom did i met today!gosh!!wakakakakaka.

















*staring blankly at the computer screen!!*


















okay,got it!



i met seri,dydy(my guy,)shasha while i was working.
wow!!
so after work i met them at around scape park and hang around there for awhilethere was soo many things to talked about.well i miss them alots!!apart from them,




i miss the whole AP fam without fights and inmatures kiddos!!




okay seriously shit im totally exhausted.and ihv yet to bath!!gotta bath now and gonna call riyan!!



and lastly,





to: Seri






HAPPY BELATED 3RD MONTH ANNIVESARY!!









yeah...








its my off day today!!woohooo..


friday,saturday,sunday full shift!!boohoo..








so yeah,didnt exactly go anywhere.except met ma new friend which is fadh!!

fadh with his main asset!wakakakakaka.

met him opp khatib mrt at around 6plus.had to pass his work.yeah.i saved his life.


wakakakakaka.okay,i didnt literally saved his life but his ass indeed.he had an essay to be type and print and to had in by tomorrow.so he didnt have a printer.so yeah,i help him.wakakakaka.





after that,we proceed on to our plan,which is to go to my grandparent's crib.i had no ciggies with me,so yeah..wakakakaka.and fadh was like super duper crazy!he kept on blabbering stupid stuffs.and i was like laughin my ass off..ok,not exactly laughing my ass off,but yeah.funny.
so yeah,he was like the first friend that went to my grandparent's crib for like how many years!
the last time that a friend came to my grandparent's crib when i was in primary 2!hell shit!bt yeah,true!

and wanna know something?fadh is ma only friend that stays in yishun!!yeah!!
P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!!i know.bt at least there's something rather than nothin right??

so yeah,i kept on smiling for no reasons actually,he's full of sacarsm!!and i really miss being sacarstic bitch!!serious!i stopped being one okay??

okay,im too tired to type anymore,gotta get ready things for work tomorrow and maybe im going to my grandparents crib again.wakakakakaka.

dont stop plucking your mama's pubic hair!!




HOLLAASS!!





okay,i just got back from work,correction.just got back from my grandparents crib.always go to my granny's crib before heading back home.so yeah.my day at work has been totally amazing!and i mean amazing!!!!started work at 12noon and ended my shift at 8pm.isint that awesome?



i get to skip doing opening and closing!!wakakakakaka.chatted with fadh before going to work.what great dude he is.plus,you wanna know something people??he can easily get paranoid!!yeah TOO PARANOID!!!wakakakakakaka.




let's talk about my work shall we?because that's the thing that ihv been spending most of my time with.work.work.work.


so yeah,work is totally F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!!!god,i seriously love the job.ihv been wanting to study retail,but i dont know why on earth i couldnt get one.only my dick knows why.what crap am i talking?gosh!!okay,back to where i were saying,tho' i couldnt get to study retail.i got to work in retail store!!damn!am i lucky or what?the staffs there are fucking friendly.we have daniel as our SIC(store in charge),fizah as our 2nd in charge,lenny as our 3rd,bernadette as a staff,xavier who;s going to quit soon and there's me!!the cutest guy whos working there..ehehehehehe.


so lets talk about fizah.boy!she's one of a kind!i mean,as a friend cum supervisor cum makcik!!



i love working with her!!she's like my partner-in-crime.ehehehehehe.



i cant stop having alot of sins thanks to her.serious!i mean ill be gossiping to her about certain customer that i or we think about that customer.i wont elaborate more as im now collecting sins again.wow!i can just put all my sins into a book collection.wait,i dont think a book collection will be enuf,i need something bigger than a book collection.wakakakakaka.i know,im talking utterly dumb stuffs.bt yeah,im gonna miss fizah,as i'll only get to meet her next thursday as she'll be taking her leave and her off day.gosh,i wont be able to do stupid stuffs infront of her for the time being.no more,craps,jokes,gossips,lectures...hais..bt nvm,ill shall find one staffs to be my victim.



but who?because the rest are just pretty damn old idiots.gosh,hopefully i can find one.and here im typing this,i kept hearing my mom shouting in the room "jangan goyang lah!"(dont move lah!)






okay,yesterday i saw fadh while i was working,and i saw him again in the train with his constipated face!!wakakakakaka.and i saw abg hady(by definition)oh god i miss them alot and b:one staffs!







and today i met JAZRULE!!




oh god!i totally miss this dude to the core.its been ages i met him.
the last time i saw him was like a billion years ago??wakakakaka
so yeah,there was hugs and abit catching up.ehehehehehe.


hmm..i totally miss that someone.bt hell yeah,i got to move on.i know its hard.alot of my friends told me not to give up and to fight for my love.i did that,but how am i suppose to do that when that someone just cant be bothered,or wont absorb anythin what i said or did or refused to accept the fact?i just hate love the way they are,but i loove love they way they are.

i guess i have to let go of that someone that i love alot.
if the love is meant for me,or we are meant to be together,it'll come back.
if it doesnt,ill just have to wish that someone for happiness.
like ihv said in my previous entry,




IF THAT SOMEONE IS HAPPY,BE IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE OR WHATEVER IT IS.
ILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY FOR THAT SOMEONE!!





i know,it hurts alot.but i cant keep on clingin onto somethin that i dont know whats the future will be.ihv done that in my previous love,i clinged onto it for 3 gd years,hoping my ex would come back to me.in the end,im hurting myself,be it consiously or unconsiously.
so yeah.i just miss and love that someone.

somehow,i just wish that someone will just come to me in any way,saying "i like you",im starting to fall in love with you!"or anyone will say it to me..
okay,what the hell am i thinking man>??!!i sound so despo!!wakakakakaka






helloy FUGLY PEOPLE!!


im feeling pretty useless now.i dont know why.
gosh,i hate this feeling.
anywaaeess,its my off day today!!wooohooo!!
shit,its my full shift tomorrow!!BOOOHOOO!!

so yeah,i just feel some of my previous entries were all dumb stuffs.wakakakakakaka.
well,to be honest i still love that someone,and missing that someone to the core.
i know,i always sound So P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!!oh,dydy just get over it lah!!
im trying to move my best to move on.but,every single time im trying my best to move on,
I CANT!!YOU GET IT??
I CANT!!
I CANT!!

how??ihv tried to move on,bt still its fucking hard for me to move on.but i know i have to move on.

TO THAT SOMEONE,


in case you're reading this,i just wanna tell you that i misses you and still love you.
but,dont you worry,ill try and i mean TRY to move on just to make you HAPPY!!
so long you're happy,ill always be happy for you.!!
remember how i always said to you??
"im not an unreasonable person......"
ill just try and try...

im soorry.and i totally mean it.
IM SOORRY!
im soorry as not to let go of you when i know i should.
im soorry for not respecting your decision.
im soorry to disturb you at times.
im soorry for not giving you some space.
im soorry i couldnt be your man.
im soorry to let you go.
im soorry to be damn shelfish.
im soorry as im an asshole to you.
im soorry for not trying hard enuf to prove to you.
im soorry to let you be in despair again.
im soorry as to lose my only love.
im soorry for FALLING IN LOVE with you.
im soorry for not wanting TO LET YOU GO.
im soorry to let you know that i still need you badly.
im soorry to let you have this thinking that i cant accept you back.
im soorry for remembering the memories that we had.
im soorry for everything.
im soorry that we're a complete strangers now.
im soorry it has to be like this.


IM JUST SOORRY AITES???


okay,back to where i was suppose to type.i met adam(freekzy nutz) yesterday when i ws working.oh god!i met alot of people when im working.so yeah,i was like totally suprised that adam actually recognised me!he waved at me!and i was like,okay he recognised me!!
COOL!!so yeah,talked to him in msn earlier today.he said that im a great guy.great guy to hang out with!!wakakakakaka..COOL MAN!!wakakakaka,ok,i know i SO lame.

so yeah,to adam.dont stress yourself aites.its a matter of time.

and to mr imran ajmain.how the hell did you come across to my blog??!and yeah,its just a comment from me,dont take it too personal.you'll get FATTER if you take it too personal!!
wakakakakaka.!!

so yeah,gotta go now peeps!wanna go to my grandparents crib!!=)

i just wish anyone will jusst come/msg or whatever saying "i like you!!"or "im starting to fall in love with you!!"

oh what the hell im thinking!!WANSUEY!!!!

keep looking back you whore!




heloos peeps!!








really had fun at work..im loving what im working now.its really fun.


okay,i totally had fun working with fizah around!!!


damn!i will keep on laughing my ass off.gosh,practically,we'll just be bitching,gossiping and talking about stuffs.its really fun working with her.i cant stop having sins whenever she's around,i'll always be gossiping.oh god!help her!wakakakakaka.





so yeah its like normally when i cant find things in the store and ill be like


"fizah,tkde pun!"(fizah,i cant find it!).and she'll be answering me like


"cari dengan mata,bukan mulot!"(find with your eyes and not mouth!)


ill always teand to make her angry,i get her annoyed by doing stupid stuffs in the stores..yeah.ilook retarded.and when she cant find things that i sekd her to check ill be


"cari dengan mata,bukan mulot!!"(search with your eyes,not mouth!")and she'll be like


"sialan" and ill be like "rasain loh!!"and we'll both laugh our ass off.





okay,i just feel that it was a just dumb of me to write all this,but yeah.i just wrote it for the fun of it!

my lil bro,danish in the hospital!


so yeah,he's still in the hospital,will be discharged today(monday) i guess.
pity him,couldnt get ti visit him,totally caught up with work.

okay gotta go,that riyan is annoyin me now!
he's still not online now.idiot!!
got to call him.

so long losers,keep on plucking your mom hair's armpit!




back from work about 2 hours ago.
asked for a early dismissed as my lil bro,danish was hospitalised.but i didnt went to the hospital as i totally forget which hospital he was admitted to and my handphone is low and im totally broke plus my spine is giving me the same old problem.so went back home straight.

yesterday was that asshole(stepdad)birthday,my family went out to dinner to celebrate his birthday.didnt tag along as i was working.so yeah,was taking my shower when the quarrel between that asshole and mommy started.it was a huge fight.i wanted to get myself involved,but its more to the husband-wife thingy,so yeah.i was hoping that asshole would just lay a finger to mommy then,the next thing he knows,im beating that asshole.

hmm,i got to stay strong,but seriously im not too sure if i can handle all this anymore.
the pressure,
the hurt,
the emotionally hurt,
te mentally hurt and disturb,
every single thing.


i lost my real family when im 5years old,my parents got divorced,living us,my siblings in the fights of which custody.i was still young to understand everything. my siblings grew up with no proper care,guidance and ULTIMATE LOVE from a parent.growing up with all this has been quite tough and mentally disturb for me.sometimes,i just wish i could take a knife and kill myself.but i know,there's always a purpose for every human being living in this world.sacrifises has been made alot in my life.its really hard for me to handle all this at the very young age. and i really envy people with a gd family background.

there's alot of obstacles in every single one's life.its a matter of fact on how we overcome the obstacles.since young i have to face and overcome the obstacles in my life.and somehow it seriously made me mentally hurt and disturb.

my dad for instance,he changed alot ever since he married with that BITCH.he stopped giving us our allowance to school eversince i was 12years old.that bitch is working and so is my dad.butr i h\just dont know why we werent given any allowance.damn..at times,some would asking me,why dont you have any allowance?and ill be totally dumstruck and embarrased to answer.
so yeah,i had to be independent.but not totally independent. had to struggle with work and studies at the same time.

ihv been facing the pressures and obstacles.and ihv overcome almost all.
sometimes,i just felt that growing up with all this obstacles in life has really make me more mature and stronger in life.

but,i seriously,i dont know how long i cant take all this.financial problems evrything.now,mommy thought of selling the house and move in to grandparents crib.or not to sell the house.i dont know.or i have to help mommy pay the utilitiesbill,the house.i dont know.

im turning 17 people!!!
and i have to go all this shits since i was young!!oh god!!please make me be strong and to overcome every challenges that you gave me and my family.

regarding my love life...
ill just talk about it the next time,.i just dont feel like talking about it now.
plus,riyan has already message me asking me to call him now!!what an anjing that friend of mine!wakakakakakaka


so yeah,gotta go now.and totally sorry if what i just type here was all a dumb stuffs!