DinieJamz (more...)

( The best thing about me is you. )
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DYDY, Fluent in bullshit. Outdoor enthuasist.
ninie_14@msn.com(blogger)
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008, 4/30/2008 07:49:00 PM

SUPER DUPER SORRY for not updating my blog..ihv been busy,busy with work.


well,speaking of work,i really had fun working in my new job.

had to undergo an orientation at boon keng on monday,man it was fucking far!BUT,i arrived there 40 minutes earlier!!call me kiasu or what!i dont care!its better to be early than late.first impression counts alot!!after the orientation ended,had to report to where they posted me.
and again i was like damn early!had to work full shift for the first day,and i was like omg!!
the staffs were friendly.really learnt alot on my first day,and that was a gd thing.
and been praised alot on my first day.wow!they were like "gd!","very good!","well done!",ur fast!" hopefully it last long..wakaakakaka.and i felt like farting evey few minutes!!its my first day,and i kept on wanting to fart!


had to werk full shift on tues,so had to reach the store at 9.45am,and i reach like around 9.20am.am i good or what??fiza,my 2nd supervisor was late!!damn!!felt like smashing her boobs!!but,since she has a nice butt,i wont..wakakakaakakka.ok,kidding!so,again it was just a normal day during work,except i made a customer spent 500bucks,it was my 2nd day and i was handling 3 customers at a time,and the customer who spent 500bucks was one fussy whore!!so yeah,thanks to me,the sales were so much better compare to the previous day.and i nearly missed my station otw back home,i was sleeping and there's a girl who step onto my feet which made me to be awake.and i was like where the hell i am?and when i saw it was khatib,i quickly get my seeeekkksssaaa butt up and went out..pheeew!anywaaaeesss,thanks to the girl who unconsiously woke me up!!THANKS YOU!!


had to undergo a training at wisma in the morning,the training was fun especially when u get to skip to do opening at your store.wakakakakaka.i was abit lerthagic today..i was too exhausted.havent been feeling the tiredness from work for like a month or 2.learnt alot again today,one of the things tha i learnt was to check the new arrival of stocks!i kinda love doing that.
and yeah,i saw imran ajmain(spell check!)he looktaller and FAT!!!WAY FAT!!and im like OMG!!he's so fat!!



and i saw SUHAIR!!it was funny lah..


(grabbed from dato's fwenster..wakakakaka!)







didnt get to talk to him actually as the big boss was there.wakakakakaka.so yeah, this was the conversation i had with suhair in msn earlier.



dydy says:
hola datok!

dydy says:
=)

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
haha


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
dat was u right/


dydy says:
huh?

dydy says:
wat r u talkin?

dydy says:
me?

dydy says:
where?

dydy says:
y?

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
-.-


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
ok wait, u r the one who i saw tadi right?


dydy says:
huh?

dydy says:
tadi???

dydy says:
where?

dydy says:
wat?

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
ok nvm


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
im confused


dydy says:
y?

dydy says:
wat happend?

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
nvm


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
haha


dydy says:
tell me..

dydy says:
=)

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
ok


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
u answ me the truth or u'll get me confused


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
where r u working now?


dydy says:
not werking..

dydy says:
quitted ma job in a club last mon or last 2 monts,.

dydy says:
tell me man y?

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
huh


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
ok nvm


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
i gt the wrong person, i guess


dydy says:
ok..y?

dydy says:
pe jad?

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
nvm


dydy says:
so ur were with who tad?

dydy says:
u look abit skinny lah sey..

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
haha


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
and dats u!


dydy says:
n yeah,tall plak tuu..

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
I AM SKINNY WAT


dydy says:
wakakakakaka!

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
u more taller


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
u more taller siaaa! daaam



dydy says:
n i loook fat!!

iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
jealous. jealous


iamyoursonofthebitch, says:
haha. im skinny!




sorry suhair i just wanna act dumb..wakakakakaak.and i too wanna make u confused and dumb!!
seriously, dont even understand what the hell im writng now!but i know i sound so dumb!
wakkakakakaka.!



*dick in!*

Monday, April 28, 2008, 4/28/2008 12:38:00 AM

holaaaaasssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


at this very moment,i feel very dumb!i get dumber every second in my lifE!!!i dont know why.
ok that was just a stupid introduction.i know.blame him.

anywaaaeeessss,im going to work people!!oohhh,ESPRIT is so calling me!!eheheheheheehe..
what if i had a nervous breakdown and i just smack the supervisor's head or i just let off a loud flatulence right infront of the customers?what if i i took stropes and hang myself at the store?
wth am i thinking???!!wakakakakakka,its just another dumb thing that need not to be written!:)


Inna ma'al usri usra- For every bad/hard situation ur in, there will always be a solution to it.


Whatever happens, bad or good, ALLAH is giving us a great TEST. Whether we love it or not, it is called a TEST. The strong will get better rewards, treats or replacement. Be it people, material or mentally. But if we CHOOSE to be weak and follow our emotions, we will not gain anything including our BEAUTIFUL FUTURE that awaits us. Have FAITH in HIM and believe in yourself. HE will show you what HE promised. Allah is great. He will not abondon those who have patience in his TEST. Take care.....
(was taken from my sis's blog.)i know,its so not originality of me to do so!
but hey,in case u havent been noticing it yet!!its time u should open up that eyes of urs!!
*i still love u!!*

Sunday, April 27, 2008, 4/27/2008 01:28:00 AM

helosss!

its sunday mornin people!!wooohhoo!!
i cant believe!!its 3 am..


first and for most,truly sorry for not updating my blog,i kinda feel its abit dead.but not as dead as tt ANJING,RIYAN"S BLOG!!ehehehehehehe...
i just cant believed that i met so many people!i mean it,seriously many!ok i exaggarate.
but anywaaeees, on friday i went back to my dad's crib for awhile to take some of my stuffs.then was using the stupid,i mean stupid e-buddy,when i suddenly chatted with my cousin.he was feeling pretty fcuktub,he had some relationship problems.so being a SUPER DUPER nice cuzzie,we chatted to calm himself down.so yeah,like whatever.i know.went to causeway point to around 4 plus to have our late lunch at banquet.

it was his treat!!wakakakakakaka,im fcuking broke this month!thnaks!!so tyeah,literally we catched up,and bitching.after our late lunch,went back to my dad's crib for awhile.
then met anna and sakai at ap!!its been since i met them!i totally miss them!!there was only the three of us,but as usual we were loud!!

then,came fearghus,shanker,nasha.and i was like damn!we chatted,became camwhores,make fun of each other and stuffs.suddenly after going back from the toilet!!i saw my BLOODY CRUSH!!and i was way too happy that i stick tongue out n smile at my crush!!its been ever since i met that crush of mine!!she smiled back at me!!and i was melted away...*stop sak dydy!*so yeah,after all long,i only got to know that she's a friend of mine!!damn!!and when she was talking to....we both kept on stealing looking at each other!!wah..then,bumped into,taufiq,uzair,fly and who else did i missed out??im just too happy to meet all my old friends!!no wonder my right eye kept twitching.then baby(mimie) and her guy(rishkin) was approaching us.so i kinda covered my face,and when she saw me covering my face she was like"sape nie?"(who is this?),and when i opened,she was screaming until her boobs fell apart!!ehehehehehe,just kidding.so she was like
"ah baby!my husband!"and i was like "ah mimie,my nightmare!"(not!)..


mimie and rishkin went to 656 as rishkin was being such a baby!i was suppose to catch the last train,but the devils in AP made me wanna to sent the time there!!so,when naz reached,sakai,anna wen to 656 to meet mimie.so upon reaching there,mimie told me that she's getting engaged this week!!and im like omg!!i just wish that there's a dagger with so i can just stab her!!!i was so happy fer her!!and yeah,she's getting engaged this week!hopefully it'll be my off day when she's getting engaged.and rashid arrived.but there wasnt a full AP reunion.its was jsut a small reunion.but dyea,bee,shaq wasnt there.dyea was busy braiding her vigina at home,bee being a geek she stayed at home and shaq being a bimbotic child with endless of tutions!!wakakakakaka,i was just kidding,it was a last minute thingy,so not everyone was there.

after we had our supper,everything i and rashid camwhored!!and there was alot of pictures!!but,due to anna's,mine and rashid's stupidity,we actually deleted the pictures without knowing them!!WTF!!!

took the first train back home!and saturday was just mainly sitting at home!:)




damn,i hate this feellings,when im not thinking about anything that person kept on appearing into my mind!!i dont know why,maybe im just puting too much hopes that someone will comeback.
I TOTALLY MISS THAT SOMEONE MORE THAN ANYTHING!!
im just sorry,i tried my best to let u go,but i cant.
and I STILL LOVE U!!
at times,when one love life is dumped.its hard for one to accept it!
no one has ever wished to lose the person one loves most.
but when u loses someone,one kept thinking that one has lost everything.
no,that is totally wrong,u just have to stand up your two feets and try living life to the fullest tho' life sucks at times!that's the way it works in love life and life,the more your holding onto your past and hoping that the person u lost will comeback, it will only make u weaker.sometimes its good to let go of the things that we're clingin onto nad accept someone new in our life.love n life doesnt make us WEAK,it make us STRONG.STRONGER than you can imagine!!
overcoming the challenges and obstacles that is being given by HIM is making us STRONGER not WEAKER.the only thing that make us weak,is ourself.
sometimes one is too scared to tak a risk in its life!by taking a risks in life,u wont konw where the risks might actually lead u to.
my point is
take a risk in ur life!
ok2!!i know,that was just dumb and lame!!wakakakaakaka
*bimbotic*

Thursday, April 24, 2008, 4/24/2008 02:52:00 AM

its nearly 3am now,and im still awake..for godness sake,i cant be doing like this all the time,staying awake in the middle of nights and only to be found asleep in the afternoon.oh god,seriously i really need to pull myself together and be strong.one which life seems so wrong i can just simply ignore it and not actually trying to find its solutions.but,that was all in the past,ihv changed and im still trying to change for the better,im not that guy who used to hang around at nights and be just a rubbish to the society and to be in fights as and when and some will think im just like those typical matreps.no im not!!i dont see myself as one even when im in the past or now.i made friends with them and still now making new friends.im used to the lifestyle that one leads,they way they talked,body posture engaging into premarital sex etc.

but i know,its not going to go anywhere futher.that's one of the rationale ihv moved out to my mom's crib,to be away from them.not totally mixing with them,not being close as a family to them.its really hard to let go of the bond that we have,but until when ihv to be in those lifestyle getting into problem into another.its hard,but i'll try..

adapting into one's new lifestyle with all of sudden its not easy.being surrounded with no bestfriends or close friends let alone friends.staying with my mom can be really difficult for me,but i know i have to try and figure it all out.i made the decision to move out from my dad's crib and ihv to continue this little insane journey of mine.i know its hard for me to continue with friends staying far from me and not just a walking distance anymore.hopefully soon,i will see myself achieving something.and i fucking hate,im here trying my best to change,and yet some is still finding faults with me!!why on earth they just cant see that im trying my best to change??every little mistake i make,that's when they keep on comparing btween them and my friends,saying i treat my friends better than what im treating them!!fuck!!if im treatin my friends better,ill just pack my belongins and stay with my friends.i'll never be forcing my cute ass sittin at home and not trying to go out all the times!!!i seek refudge in HIM.....AMEN.

the past few days has been quite tiring for me.

monday >>> went to billa,with kakak,wan and abg madi.went for drinking and going out in the night...had to stay awake as had to go out early in the mournin.

tuesday >>>didnt slept at all when ihv reached home in the late mournin as i have to go for a job interview early in the mournin with kakak.met her at khatib mrt station around 8am and was suppose to take the train to sengkang.but,plan was changed as we could not board 2 trains!!!took the train to woodlands and took bus 965 all the way to sengkang!how can i just forget that there's one straight bus to sengkang!!went a job interview at sengkang community club.it was organised by SIRS(SINGAPORE INSTITUTE OF RETAIL STUDIES).upon reaching there,i was quite reluctant to go as we found out that there was goin to be a small seminar talk.i hate seminar!damn,it can just make me fall asleep!!but,kakak forced me to go as we had already made our ASS down to sengkang!!


luckily,the talk lasted for 10-15mins,if it ws any longer than that,i would just shout KAKAK KAUPEH LAKI!ANAK HARON BETOL!!so yeah there was 3 booth,one was from GIAN CITY(or what!),ESPRIT AND NTUC FAIRPRICE!so,i went to ntuc fairprice(not!)..ok,i was kidding,who on earth wants to work in the ntuc fairprice other than the makcik2(aunties) and pakcik2(uncles)???!!ehehehehe,of course i picked esprit,based on my cute looks,my sweet smiles with my cute lil teeth pooping out from my mouth,and my winks to them,confirm i can get the job!!(ok,that was lame and i exaggarate alot !)wakakakakaka! so,we had to wait for our turn to be interview,when it was my turn hell shit i was fucking nervous!at that moment,i just feel like hitting and stepping the interviewer's head!for no reason,due to nervous!wakakakakaka

i can still remember,the first sentence i gave to her when she asked to tell about myself.
"oh,hi!!im dinie!!"stupid kan??!!that was the stupidest,lamest,craziest answer that i ever gave out of all my interviews i went before!!if it was an exam,i would just take senapang gajah(shotgun i guess) and just shoot at the examiner's head so he/she cant fail me!!ok that was lame!i applied as a "sales consultant"..everything went smoothly,and i and kakak just got this feeling that we're gonna get the job.but yeah,its good to put hopes in it,but not too much of high hopes!!


wednesday >>>had a online movie marathon,watched p.s i love you!!!ihv been wanting to watch the show,but halfway thru it was stuck!!bloody hell!!so yeah,jst give up,and did some chatting in msn,and did bloghoppin~~:)!!and i ate like a pig!!i swear over sherlin's boob..heheheheheand guess what people!!I GOT THE JOB!the esprit called me and i'll be starting workin next monday!!yeah!!


i totally miss the dance world and dancing badly!!

i miss DYLIMARCELL!!(still waiting for their o's and n's level to finish!then comeback!)

i miss my 4normal technical 9 classmates!!

i miss AP FAMILY!!

i miss my friends!!

i miss my bestieesS!!

i miss everyone and everything!!

and of course!!





I MISS THAT SOMEONE THE CORE!!!!!!!


speaking of that someone,few days back,ezam told me that someone and ezam is attached!!!
i was fcuking shocked!!!they are attached!!!and how come that someone didnt even tell me??why cant u just tell me that ur attached with ezam??why must ezam be the one who's telling me??im not sure if what ezam said its true!he said u guys were attached fer like 1 or 2 weeks!!wtf??!!why cant u just tell me??why??GUILTY??i seriously love u,its fucking hard fpr me to fall in love!u made me forget my 1st ex,my past which ihv been clingin onto!!oh god!!i seriously wanna message u to ask for ur confirmation..but im not sure if its a gd idea,as it will be a disturbance to u and u will not reply..im not sure what the hell i should do!!or should i try!!





CAN SOMEBODY JUST HELP ME HERE??!!!!!!!ARGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
im totally lost..i seriously dont know what to do!






*INSANITY*

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 4/22/2008 05:00:00 AM

hello my idiotic people!!!

another day at bob's place!
at last im back home!went out with wan,abg madi n kakak to BOB'S PLACE.

i went out quite late today,blame me for that!hehehehehe..seriously,i actually didnt wanna go to bob's place,it was just a no!no! place for me today.so yeah,made up my mind to go there at last,so i and wan was late as kakak oreadi arrived and she was blabbering as usual!wakakakaka.

wan fetch me around 12plusam under my void deck,and i was still putting ma helmet when he just speed up!reason why,kakak will give us a hell shit!damn!upon reaching there we were quite suprised.it was damn pack!!wow!so yeah,sitted outside and we bought a jug first while waiting fer our seats and abg madi.the atmoshepre was pretty fun today!had alot of fun tho' i was a having a terrible migrane!!


after bob was closed,me,kakak,abg an,abg madi and wan decided to go to geylang to buy some ciggs!!so yeah,on the way there,there was a roadblock!!wtf!! damn it!quite troublesome actually.
and of course,they didnt spot anything wrongwith us,so they let us go after checkin our ic and stuffs.flashback of memories,i mean MEMORIES kept on flooding into my tiny brain...memories with my old friends..AP FAMILY!!boy!i really miss the old times.yeah,sometimes after a hard day of going out,we would just be spending our night at a hotel in geylang!balek pangkeng katekn..huahuahuahua...but,mind u!we didnt do anything at all!!NO SEX WAS INVOVLED OKAY??!!!!wakakakaka..

so yeah,went to the nearest cofeeshop to chill before sending me back home!


ok,im actually too tired to type..so yeah..maybe wanna hit the sacks people!!



LOVE YA!!!!!








*PURE MADNESS!*

Monday, April 21, 2008, 4/21/2008 03:58:00 AM

its 4plus in the mournin and my eyes is still fuckin awake!!!should have sleep when i have the chance...bloody hell!!


so yeah,didnt exactly went out on the weekends.

sat, i had to drag my ass down to my aunty's house.as usual,i was the "star karat"(the so called wannabe superstar!)wakakakakaka.but they cant blame me aites for being late,i dont really like the idea of attending family gathering.sometimes,i just feel that there's nothing i can relate to my cousins,because most of the time,we'll be spending the time talking about the topic bout gansterism..so typical matreps right?if it was in the past i wont mind at all.but now,ihv totally changed,so yeah,no more bout the topics






matrep!



matrep!



matrep!



matrep!
(once in awhile,ok lah!)hehehehee..




anywaaaaayyyyyyssssssss,my cousin,which is my first cousin,totally had his body tatoo-ed again!!that is way cool!!awwww,i envy him.but,yeah i promised myself not to have anymore,i had once,but no one knows bout it.so yeah no more tatoos even if im a juvenile!!heheheheheeh
(cant really see the the tatoo on his body,but yeah,its nice if im not mistaken
tho' its not alot,but yeah!its cool!!:D)and happie 16th birthday cuzzie!!:D
do more tatoo!!oh god im being such a devil!!siaall peh dydy!musibot sak aku!!








so yeah,had this conversation with my bff(ella) in the msn earlier on,so yeah most of the time we'll be bitching,that's our normal routine actually..hehhehehehe..


and yarh this was what she said to me..




ь е ℓ ℓ а; not bellow ♥♥ says:
ure english was super fantastic n i dun even undrstnd wat the hell ure talkin abt bitch!

and of course,i was laughing my ass off reading this!!!seriously,until now,im not sure if that was a compliment or a sarcarsm.wakakakakakaka!come on,i used to be a NORMAL TECHNICAL STUDENT OK!!




oh bella,i totally love u bitch!!=)




while im typing this,i suddenly remembered what that someone said on the 11042008.


"....satisfaction!everyone has a satisfaction!and that's HUMAN NATURE!!"




but to think it again,SATISFACTION...seriously it wont go anywhere if we keep on wanting to feel satisfaction in us.yes i agree with u that its a human nature,but it wont go anywhere,trust me dear...


to that someone,

in case u are reading this,im sure u understand what im talking here n just please,


open up ur eyes,open up ur mind, and open up ur heart!!







I still ♥♥ YOU !!!!



p.s:im not giving up on you..i hope im doing the right thing.






*restless love*

Sunday, April 20, 2008, 4/20/2008 11:18:00 PM

half an hour more its going to be 21st of april!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008, 4/19/2008 04:25:00 PM

WOW!!i cant just believed that its SATURDAY today.and im stuck at my dad's crib!!!WTF!!ok,im just kidding,im not totally stuck at my dad's crib,eventually soon im going out to my aunty's hse then maybe back to yishn.idk.

so,yesterday was nothing much for me to update,except i just felt like goin to wlds.
and yarh,i was sending the message to riyan,but eventually i dont even know how on earth it was delivered to that someone.and that someone suddenly replied sayin,"who iz diz? who iz riyan? wr0ng no." and i was laughing my ass out for sending to the wrong person.it was meant for my friend,but yeah it was delivered to that someone.in case you are reading this,im truly soorrryy aites dear?and i dont know y u asked me who iz diz..



as much as i hate to say this,but i will..i made a choice as to let that someone go.

i know i may sound so pathetic,but hey,it isint easy for me to make this bloody decision ok?!!

now,as im typing this,im such a letdown to the guy's species.

im crying for godness sake!!OMG!i dont know why on earth i made that bloody decision!

arrgghh!damn it.but whats done cant be undone!its really hard for me to let go of that someone.

but remember,it takes two hands to clap!how on earth am i going to prove to that someone that not all guys is a jerk when i simply just let go of that someone.??

im not blaming anyone,but i tried all i can not to give up,but that someone simply refused to listen..i know what's that someone is thinking right now!

im just like the rest!!IM A JERK!!

oh god,pls help me.!!!

to tell the truth,i dont want to let go of that someone,but,that someonesimply dont want to be disturb n stuffs.i know i should back off a lil.i guess,ill just hve to wait for that someone.in case you are reading this,i just wanna let you know that

ILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU!AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U FOR WHO YOU ARE!!AND ILL BE WAITING FOR U!JUST COME TO ME,IF U REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO BE BY YOUR SIDE!BECAUSE ILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU!!





to that someone,


"soon you will realised that you will still have to let go of the things that you're clingin

onto now,because of the hurt that u have gone through and ur bloody stubborness u wont even bother to TRY!seriously,u wont move on if u keep on holding to ur past!

just let bygones be bygones.!!


P.S: tidak semestinye kite mengalah,bermakna kite kalah!!(doesnt mean we let someone wins,we lose!!)








and as for me,


tidak semestinye kite mengundur ataupun melepaskn seseorang,bermakna kite tak mencintai seseorang itu!!(doesnt mean we let go of that someone,we dont love that someone!!)



















*LEAVING SOMEONE IS NOT EASY!!*

















Thursday, April 17, 2008, 4/17/2008 11:36:00 PM

HELLO MY IDIOTIC PEOPLE!!!


im feelin extremely down now!!i dont know who to turn to..i dont know who should i talk to.
i got my friends who'll be there for me when i need them most.but its not them that i need right nw!its U that i need now!and badly!!
when i woke up this evening,my lil bro told me that i didnt get into the course.i didnt pay much attention as i thought he was just being himself by being annoying.suddenly,my mom called me out to the livin room.and she said. "adek,adek tk dapat itu course tau!"(dinie,you didnt get into that course!)the moment i heard that,my heart sank!!i played cool,as i didnt want my mom to get worried.i didnt how on earth i didnt get into that course.i applied as a full time retail student in ite clementi,i got it..but was rejected by hundreds of candidates when i went to the interview.everything went smoothly,but i guess my appearence really disgusted them,my hair was dyed,and i didnt even bother to take out my tongue stud.
so i didnt give up,i applied as a traineeship as a retail student again.and i have to go for my second interview at POPULAR headquater.everything went smoothly,gave them the best answer as what they want in a retailer.they were amazed by my answers,my keen into learnin retail and my personality.and again,i was rejected.damn!POPLULAR IS BEING SUCH A RACIST!!!KAKAK KAU PEH LAKI!!i mean the one who got was all chinese.even the headquater was ful of chinese staffs!(look around popular bookstore,have you ever seen a malay or let alone an indian working in there??!!most or shall i say all is CHINESE!!)
and again,that didnt stop me from giving up at all.i appealed as a student in ite ang mo kio.
i took the course DMD DIGITAL AUDIO PRODUCTION i guess.and guess what,i didnt get into that course!!its either the course is full or i dont know.the requirements fer that course was to PASS N level!!!i did pass my n level!!and my results was way better for that course!!!
and that didnt stop me from giving up!i appealed again in ite bishan as a retail student!
and i just found out today(17042008) i didnt get into that course at all!!!damn!!
i dont know why i didnt get into the course,ihv been trying hard to fight and not giving up at all.
i assume luck wasnt with me at all.i feel like crying now,boohoo to me for being such a crybaby!!
but,how long can i stand this of bein rejected always.be it in terms of education or love,
ihv been rejected!!damn!!
i need you,i need u now..BADLY!!i cant take it anymore..i need you to be beside me now..huggin me,consoling me,comfortin me evrything..but,where are you,when i need you the most??!!i feel like msging u,but im fucking sure,it'll be a disturbance to you,and you will never reply..but,ill try to msg u after im done with bloggin....ILL JUST TRY...
a supervisor once said
"there's no harm trying,
in fact you will learn something when you try,
by not trying is a failure,
and those who doesnt try is a FAILURE!!"
WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED U THE MOST??
I SEEK REFUDGE IN HIM!!!
AMEN.....
*distorted.i need u badly~!*

Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 4/16/2008 01:21:00 AM

hello my idiotic people!!hahaha.

just got back home about an hour and half ago from pool at lucky plaza.


i totally hate my love life to the core!!n i mean it,i hate extremely to the core!!
luck or shall i say love wasnt with me lately or the past few years!
im totally madly in love with that somone!!
im going insane because of love!
i like myself being in love,its a nice feeling!
its something that u wont wish to get out once ur in love.
i cant describe the feelings of love into words.
its somehow rather i tend not to listen to that someone when that someone was talking but instead i was captured on how that someone was talking,
the face,
the expression,
the emotions,
the mouth,
the eyes etc.
sometimes, i was too captured by all this and not remembering some things that someone was saying.and i would always be smiling whenever i was capturing it consiously or unconsiously or when im looking at that person.
LOVE!!its FUCKING difficult for me to fall in love,once i get myself in love,its really hard for me to the get out from it!
it took me 3years to get over my ex!
and im wondering how on earth am i going to get over U!!
HOW AM I GOING TO GET OVER U?
ISIT GOING TO TAKE ME GOOD DAMN 3YEARS AGAIN??
damn,i thought i found u,which is my other half,i had this feeling that you're the one that ihv been yearning for,the one that ihv been waiting for,the one that ihv been praying for all this while.but somehow,i guess i got it all wrong.maybe all wrong.im not sure.only u have all the answers to my questions.


IF YOU THINK THAT ALL GUYS IS A JERK!U ARE DAMN WRONG!!u kept having this mindset that all guy is a jerk,but to tell u the truth,NOT ALL!if u think all guys is a jerk,would all people around u,your friends be having someonme in their lifE?u got the answer to your question,but u fuckingly dont want to accept it!

"miting n gettin to noe u ws a gift tt i cn nvr ask fer in ma life,it ws d greatest gift knwin u in ma life.d memories tt we had togethr ill cherish it.mayb luv made things to turn out tis wae..n i wont put u in blame fer hurting me.i undertsand hw hurt it is to b left somone u luv most.i ws in ur shoes,n nwim in ur shoes again!losing u ws d scariest nightmare tt i wont want to happen again.i tried preventin it frm happenin,n im stil tryin nw d besti cn.nt ol guy is a jerk,even a perfectionist isint perfect itself.i wil stil luv u no matter wat u think i am.u mde me smile wenevr i look at u,u owaesmke ma dae!only time wil tel u hw deeply im in luv wit u n i cant bear tn lose u.i wnt mind tkin d risk of getting hurtso as to prove u wrng."you cant live for tomorrow, if u kip tinkin of ystrdae"i will nvr stop lovin u * * * * * *!=)"

this was what i sent to that someone.was it gd?do u think tt it'll just hit that someone head n realised that someone is there for that someone ???please tag n comment people..>>>>>>:)

i feel so lonely,there's too much of pain that im facing nw.
the total sadness n the excruciating pain that im feelin is just too much for me to handle.
I NEED U BACK IN MY LIFE!
I LOVE U ALOT!
I MISS U ALOT!
I NEED U!
I DONT WANT TO U TO GO AWAT FROM ME!



life otherwise,


i love my life alot,i have family,extended family,friends who cares and concern about me alot!be it directly or indirectly.im happy to have u people in my life,you guys will be there for me whenever i tremble n fall to pull me up and continue my life with hving confidence that i can!

I TOTALLY LOVE U GUYS!!

well,my life is almost as perfect.and that's one thing that i can never see of.



this was the conversation that i had with a stranger in orchard mrt station when i was on the back home.

stranger says:
hi,can you help me with this machine?i want to go to newton,but im not sure of how to use the machine.!

i says:
hmm,sure.no problem!


stranger says:
total there's three of us.

i says:
ok!(so i was helping them,and they were amazed!i mean i cant blame them right?they must be a tourist from malaysia.)


so,once im done helping them and stuffs,i went down.and saw them in a blur sotong face on which sides of the train they should board.so i went to n said..

i says:
excuse me,madam!its here!you are going to Newton right?


stranger says:
yes!thanks!(with smiling at me)

i says:
so,all of u are heading back to the hotel?


strangers says:
where r u heading?

i says:
khatib,back home.and u guys?


strangers says:
newton,trying out the hawker centre food!

i says:
ok!where r u guys from?


strangers says:
indonesia,and where r u from?

i says:
here,singapore!


strangers says:
oh..ok(lauging)

the train arrived,n we all board the train.while boarding the train i was questioning myself why on earth the stranger asked me where im from?DO I LOOK LIKE ONE FREAKING INDIAN OR PAKISTANI OR A NEGRO OR A WHATEVER DUDE THAT THE STRANGER WAS THINKING!CELAKA PEH ANAK!!
when the train arrived at Newton,the strangers were still blur sotong!and so i went..

i says:
miss,its here!


stranger says:
oh!ok!(and tell the other two friends to alight)

stranger 1:
thanks

stranger 2:
thanks alot.

stranger 3:
thank you very much!

i says:
ur most welcome!


YEAH people!!im damn nice today u know!i went back home straight after playing pool instead of going to a pub!im a nice "BIG BOY" today!! im nice today!!!:)


P.S: i cant believe that i typed all this and its freaking long...kakak kau peh laki sialll!!wakakakakaka,just for fun!

*INSOMNIA BOREDOM AND LOVE!*


Monday, April 14, 2008, 4/14/2008 08:29:00 AM

hello my idiotic readers!hehe..it really hurts alot when someone just wants to dissapear from your life and kinds of wanting to be become strangers with you!and when you really hope that person wont leave you,n you cant still accept fer who that person is now!that person went quiet!






aniway,i went out to pub-hopping n club hopping with abg madi,wan,n kakak to celebrate her birthday on fri and sat!






and here's some pictos of that we took!but i only post some,as im too tired and im fucking sleepy actually!:_(








and lastly,thanks to those whu was concerned bout me n cheered me up directly or indirectly!!i app it alot!


and how can i not put ur name here!!


smile fer RIYAN!!!:)

a friend indeed,

when a friend in need!

i app it alot riyan for being there,calling me,

meeting me to listen to my problems n to accompany me when i'm lonely!HEE!!

thanks to u all peeps!nurul,dalilah,ella,riyan,shaq,yanie,dyea n sorrryy if i MISS ur name in here!!hehe..thanks fer your concern guys!!love u peeps alot!!














*LOVE,LOVED,FRIENDS!!!*

P.S: i love and misses that person badly!cant u give me a chance?





Friday, April 11, 2008, 4/11/2008 11:08:00 AM

hmm...

met that someone at 3.27.29am,friday,11042008 under my void deck..IT WAS SO PAINFUL.I HOLD BACK MY TEARS!!!
this was some part of the conversation that we had in MSN before we met.
JE T' AiiME(ME) ,THAT SOMEONE(THAT SOMEONE)


JE T'AiiME says:
helo!!

JE T'AiiME says:
ihv just reached home,..went to my grandparents crib fer awhile..


JE T'AiiME says:
d,someone ask me to tell u this..not to come over his house tom!


that someone says:
i think u know wht happen


JE T'AiiME says:
yup!!!


JE T'AiiME says:
thnaks


JE T'AiiME says:
fuck!


JE T'AiiME says:
tell me what happned!


that someone says:
u already know


that someone says:
i guess ill just disspaear


JE T'AiiME says:
i dont know full story!!


JE T'AiiME says:
no!!!!!!!!!!!1


that someone says:
im sorry dydy


JE T'AiiME says:
dun dissapear


JE T'AiiME says:
pls


JE T'AiiME says:
pls dun dissapear


that someone says:
im an asshole dydy


JE T'AiiME says:
pls dun dissapear!!!


JE T'AiiME says:
i beg u!


acap says:
i use to like ezam


JE T'AiiME says:
n...


that someone says:
but he went off


that someone says:
without saying a word


JE T'AiiME says:
n istill love u too


JE T'AiiME says:
n..


that someone says:
for quite sometime


that someone says:
so i wanted to forget about him


JE T'AiiME says:
n...


that someone says:
thn u came along


that someone says:
n i was happy


JE T'AiiME says:
n..


that someone says:
thn he came along again today


that someone says:
can u imagine how much i miss him??


that someone says:
but him comin destroyed alot of stuff


that someone says:
he said some nasty stuffs


JE T'AiiME says:
what did he destroy?


JE T'AiiME says:
what nasty stuffs?


that someone says:
us


JE T'AiiME says:
in details?


that someone says:
he accuse me of sleeping with guys


JE T'AiiME says:
n..


that someone says:
go motek


that someone says:
n seeing alot of guys


JE T'AiiME says:
n


that someone says:
n he is sure of wat he says


JE T'AiiME says:
tell me what did u guys talk..


that someone says:
i didnt do it


that someone says:
he ask me


that someone says:
so got a matiar


that someone says:
matair


that someone says:
i said no


JE T'AiiME says:
n..


that someone says:
n he went yeah rite


that somone says:
i don know what to say


that someone says:
im at a spot now


that someone says:
of not wanting to hurt both parties


that someone says:
i don wanna hurt u


that somone says:
i don wanna hurt him


JE T'AiiME says:
look..he moved on!


that someone says:
but he said all those nasty stuff


that someone says:
DYDY


JE T'AiiME says:
yes


that someone says:
I DON GO AROUND HAVING SEX WITH PPLE U KNOW!


JE T'AiiME says:
OK!i got it..


that someone says:
I DON GO AROUND N MOTEK HERE N THERE!


that someone says:
now u know


that someone says:
the truth


JE T'AiiME says:
i wanna mit u..


that someone says:
n i shall go


JE T'AiiME says:
nw..


JE T'AiiME says:
no!u wont go!!


JE T'AiiME says:
i wont lett u!!!


JE T'AiiME says:
i cant bear to lose u again!


that someone says:
u wont be able to accept me now


that someone says:
i did shit to u 2wice


JE T'AiiME says:
i dun mind...


that someone says:
i do


JE T'AiiME says:
i wanna mit u nw..but idk hw..


that someone says:
im an asshole


JE T'AiiME says:
shut up n listen!!!


JE T'AiiME says:
do u love me??!!!


that someone says:
i do


JE T'AiiME says:
hmm...


that someone says:
but if i do this 2wice to u


that someone says:
I HURT U TWICE DYDY



we talk and we argued n there's some which i wont show.its rather personal tho'





You have just sent a nudge.

JE T'AiiME says:
hello..u got it right?


that someone says:
dydy


JE T'AiiME says:
what?


that someone says:
i love u


JE T'AiiME says:
i love u too


JE T'AiiME says:
meet u at tmpt biase...


JE T'AiiME says:
846..


that someone says:
no


JE T'AiiME says:
then


that someone says:
ill be at under ur block


JE T'AiiME says:
ok..meet u at 787b then..


that someone says:
meet me there k?


JE T'AiiME says:
ok!


that someone says:
where is tht


that someone says:
no


JE T'AiiME says:
787b kn ma dad's blk..which blk r u tokin?


JE T'AiiME says:
yishn blk?


that someone says:
im goin down to katib


JE T'AiiME says:
u have no money kn?


that someone says:
just meet me half an hour


JE T'AiiME says:
ok..kol me once u reach!



and we met............no one can imagine the extreme sadness,hurt,blur,confused,distorted everything n the excruiating pain in my heart that im feeling nw.i dont care about uR past,every one makes mistakes in life.
I NEED U.
I LOVE U.
I LOST U ONCE.
AND I CANT BEAR TO LOSE U AGAIN.
I MISS U.
I WANT U.
I UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION YOUR IN.
STOP BEING IN DENIAL STATE.
I KNOW,
DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOUR HEART,
U LOVE ME,
AND STILL LOVE ME,
BUT,WITH THE HURT THAT YOU HAVE GONE THRU.
I UNDERSTAND.
I WONT STOP LOVING U!
I WONT EVER STOP LOVING U!
I LOVE U DEAR!
PLS COME BACK TO ME.
I DONT MIND GETTIN HURT AGAIN!
JUST AS TO BE WITH U,
N SHARE EVERYTHING WITH U.
N I STILL BELIEVED THAT THERE'S STILL,
GLIMMER,SMALL,TINY HOPE!!
NOT EVERY GUY IS A JERK!
U JUST MET THE WRONG GUY DEAR!
AND I DONT THINK IM AJERK LIKE THEM!
THEY DONT TREASURE U!
I DO!
*I WONT EVER STOP LOVING U DEAR!!*
P.S:PLS TELL ME WHATS YOUR OPINION ORWATEVER ISIT!THANKS

, 4/11/2008 12:42:00 AM


hello people!!at last im back home.the past three days has been quite fun actually,but it will be more fun if that person is here with me to enjoy the three days..:)



On tuesday,went to ma kakak angkat house(god sis),and i felt asleep when we we talking,and i snored like a pig!!damn!hahahahaha.so,i woke up around 9pm,n kakak was gettin ready,and she asked me to follow her and nas to karaoke.i hate last minute plan,but lucky for me i was wearing a a black skinny jeans,a black strips t-shirt with a white hoodies and my nike slipper.and i was quite relieved!wow!went to adelphi mall oppsite penisular.the place is called "BOB'S PLACE".



it was a karaoke cum pub.so i planned not to sing,but instead to chill n drink.the people there are damn friendly!i mean way friendly!and we ended up singing!wow!we have like the op's on the other side,and the DFOM AKA D.F.O.M known as Dirty Fellow Old Man on the other side!haha.we drink bought several jugs n we drink to the fullest as to celebrate kakak's advanced birthday!so,when Bob's Place closes,we continued our day to Cuppage road as ida called kakak to continue party-ing at Billa.

At first,we quite reluctant to go as were damn tired,but when we heard that it was Dangdut night,we were more than happy to go!hehe..


while waiting for nas to end the pool session we drink to the fullest,and abg an which is kakak guy,was like wow!n he said "are u guys human or wat?"

i mean kakak bought alot of jugs n some tequila,and we were still ok!but abit tipsy tho'.

we took a cab and went to Billa and meet abg wan,abg madi,dollie and ida there.


upon reaching,the dance floor was quite empty,so when the dangdut singer ended,

the first Dangdut song was played,and kakak was dancing infront of me,i was quite reluctant to dance at first,but when the song hits the climax.i stood up and did my dangdut moves!hehe..

i was gelek-ing here,gelek-ing there.and when the dj saw us happily dancing,they dj changed to hindi,we were like omg!the dj was ought to sabotage us!but,cmon that doesnt gentar(scared)us!



the dj played hip hop.tranced,techno,dangdut,hindi songs!and were doing our moves!

we kept on dancing without stopping!!WOW!!

and the best part was when the dj spinned TRANCED,

and when the songs hits the climax,kakak n me went in to do our trance moves.

and they guys on the dancefloor were like,wow!and they moved back and watched us dance!

cool huh!??!


when everything ended,we went to the kopitiam to chill before heading back home,

and that's when abg madi and abg wan called me

"BADAN ULAR"(SNAKE BODY).i was so embarassed sey!:)



to that person:











AND HAPPY BELATED 1MONTH ANNIVESARY DEAR!
I MISS U ALOT!!!!

09032008





*fun and party-ing!*

Tuesday, April 8, 2008, 4/08/2008 01:24:00 PM

To: That person
From: Yours Truly
In Case,you are readin this..
I just wanna say that
"I LOVE YOU!!!"
No one has ever done that to me for such a long time...
and im truly touched!!:)
All i want is YOU!!
THANKS ALOT!
P.S: I CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU AGAIN DEAR!heee... :P blueks!!
*I LOVE U!!*

, 4/08/2008 12:19:00 PM

apologised for not updating my blog.i have been quite busy.but,even if im free,i'll be damn lazy to update!been such a lazy bum n a gong gong for the past few days!!
On Sunday,i went to support my niece n nephew in a colouring contest!i had to stay awake as i did not want to miss the event!omg!it was such a humid day.anyway,here's some of the pictures that i took on the day itself!!
GETTIN READY,GO ARFAN N ATIN!hehe..


ARFAN STOPPED HALFWAY,N ATIN FINISHED IT.
WE WERE SO HUNGRY THAT WE WENT TO KFC N WENT BACK HOME! :)











THEY DIDNT WON IN THE CONTEST,BUT THEY WON THEMSELVES A PSP!COOL!
WENT BACK HOME,AND DID SOME KARAOKE-ING SESSION!!:)


*PEACE!*



Sunday, April 6, 2008, 4/06/2008 02:33:00 AM

1. Hug my waist.
2. Actually talk to me.
3. Share secrets with me.
4. Give me your jacket.(not really)
5. Kiss me slowly.

Are you remembering this?


6. Hug me.
7. Hold me
8. Laugh with me.
9. Invite me somewhere.(toilet?)
10. Hangout with me and your/my friends together

.KEEP READING


11. Smile with me.
12. Take pictures with me.(a must!)
13. Pull me onto your lap.
14. When i say i love you more,deny it. Fight back.
15. When my friends say i love you more than you, deny it. Fight back and hug me tight so i can't get to my friends, it makes me feel loved.(true)

Are you thinking of someone?


16. Always hug me and say I love you whenever you see me.
17. Kiss me unexpectedly.(freaks me out,but i love it!)
18. Hug me from behind around the waist.
19. Tell me "im yours".(i feel secure)
20. Tell me the way you feel about me.One last thing you need to do to show me that you actually do mean it.
21. look at my eyes
22. Tell me that your everything -only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask me - if i denies something being wrong, it means i DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT-so just hug me.
24. Make me feel loved.
25. Kiss me in front of OTHER ppl you know !!(i'll be embarassed but,i loved it)

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US


26. Don't lie to me.(a must)
27. DON'T cheat on me.(a must)
28. Take me ANYWHERE i want
29. call me in the morning and tell me have a good day at work {or school},and how much you MISS me.
30. Be there for me when ever i need you, & even when i doesn't need you, just be there so i'll know that i can ALWAYS count onyou.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT !!


31. Hold me close when im cold so i can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE, hold me close and kiss me.
33. Kiss me on the CHEEKS (it will give me the hint that you want to kiss me).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around me and then i will automatically put my head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt my chin up and kiss me LIGHTLY.(not really)
35. Dont EVER tell me to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If im upset, comfort me.(true)

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER/HIS NEXT


36. When people DISS me, stand up for me.(ill be touched)
37. Look deep into my EYES and tell me that you love me.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put my head on your chest so i can listen to the steady beat of your heart. Link your fingers together while you whisper to me as i rests my eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab my HAND.
40. When you hug me, HOLD me in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE i KNOW im BEING LOVED


41. Call me at night to wish me SWEET DREAMS.(dont really matter)
42. COMFORT me when i cries and wipe away my tears.
43. Take me for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind me how much you love me.
45. Sit on top of me and tell me how much you love me and then bend down to my face and kiss me while sitting on me.

You'll never know when i need just a little bit more love!
And ill do the same thing to you!!!i mean it!!! :D



P.S : NOT EVERYTHING IS TRUE,JUST A RANDOMLY TYPED OUT!!hehehe










*LOOVEE ANDD LOOVEDD!!*